Background
Ever since I began dating my husband, Brad, I’ve had an interest in learning about relationships, parenting and any sort of personal development. I’m currently in Jody Moore’s Be Bold program and have been inspired to write a song about one of the principles we talk about often.
The song “Just Feel” was inspired by the topic “How to process emotions in a healthy way” and has helped me deepen my understanding and application of the principles in my day to day life. So, how do we actually do that? Read on…
Free Download (July 2019 only)
Negative Emotion is a part of life
As human beings we all experience negative emotion. We are supposed to! It’s a part of life. Many people think that we should always be happy and feel good all the time. They might think that something has gone terribly wrong if they are experiencing a negative emotion. But it is in the difficulty that we grow and it is in the trials that we learn and it is the contrast that helps us appreciate all the positive and happy emotions more deeply.
We create all of it
We may have difficult challenges in life that trigger negative emotions and these are really important for us to learn to process and experience. There will be times when we need to grieve or feel sadness. Many of the time though our negative emotions aren’t necessarily coming from a justified place. They could be coming from thoughts like – “It’s not fair.” “Why can’t my life be like this other person’s life?” “I wish this person was different” etc.
We are all creating negative emotion simply from sentences in our brain. It is not caused by the things or people outside of us. An emotion is really just a vibration in the body that is triggered by our thoughts. We can take a look at those thoughts and choose what we want to believe and think. We always have a choice. We can always choose how we want to show up in life. We are so much more empowered when we can take ownership for how we feel instead of blaming our emotions on something or someone else.
During a strong emotion we should process it, not resist it
BUT anytime we are experiencing a really strong negative emotion, whether it is “justified” or not…we need to learn to process it and relax into it, so that we can move forward and attempt to not take it out on other people! When we resist our negative emotions, they tend to build up and we end up layering on more struggle with our resistance, which causes the feelings to grow stronger. Allowing and processing negative emotions helps us progress forward. Negative emotions will never kill you. They don’t even feel as bad as our minds try to tell us they are going to feel. In the middle of a strong emotion, it is best to process and lean into it, instead of trying to change our thoughts right in that moment.
How to Feel Your Emotions
- Name it with an emotion word (emotion words are always one word i.e. anxiety, shame, irritation, anger, sadness)
- Find it in your Body – Where is it centered in my body? Get out of your head, stop spinning in your thoughts.
- Relax into It – Breathe Deeply – relax into that emotion. Most of the time we want to resist it and tense against it, which actually makes it worse.
- Just FEEL it – What does it feel like? How would you describe it?
- Picture it – If you could give the emotion a color, what would it be?
- Take ownership – Tell yourself I’m just feeling this way because of “sentences in my brain”. And it’s ok, all humans do it.
- Allow it until it subsides – Just allow it, lean into it, relax and then it will usually leave. Shortly after it will often come up again and you’ll need to go through the same process again. Just accept it, it’s ok.
- Later do some thought work/journaling about what sorts of thoughts may be causing the strong emotion.
Lyrics
Verse 1: I’m just a girl, just a little girl who’s mad again. I Stomp out of the room, slam the door and sit and cry. My head is hot, shoulders tense and my stomach hurts. I don’t want to feel, just escape, but I guess I’ll try. Try.
Verse 2: I’m just a man, just a nice man who’s sad again. I’m hanging my head as I step inside my door. I walk down the hall, to my room and drop down on my knees. I know just a moment to feel is all I need. Need.
Bridge: Come on let it flow. Take a deep breath. Accept what you know. Get out of your head. What’s its name? Can you decide? No need for shame, Cuz it’s just coming from your brain.
Chorus: Feeling, Healing. No Fear, Not here. Feeling, Healing. It won’t hurt you. It’s not real. Feeling, Healing. No Fear, Not Here. Feeling, Healing. It won’t hurt you. It’s not real. It won’t hurt you. Just feel. It won’t hurt you. It’s not real. Just feel.
Verse 3: I’m just a mom just a good Mom who’s overwhelmed again. The list and the dishes and the kids are spinning round and round. I can’t think straight, head is pounding and I’m dizzy. Where can I find some peace, some solid ground. Ground.
Bridge: Come on let it flow. Take a deep breath. Accept what you know. Get out of your head. What’s its name? Can you decide? No need for shame, cuz it’s coming from your brain.
Chorus: Feeling, Healing. No Fear, Not here. Feeling, Healing. It won’t hurt you, it’s not real. Feeling, Healing. No Fear, Not Here. Feeling, Healing. It won’t hurt you. It’s not real. It won’t hurt you. Just feel. It won’t hurt you. It’s not real. Just feel.
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Thanks for reading and listening!! I’ll be back to talk to you in two weeks! I’ll have a new cover song arrangement for you.